More than Enough...

This past week we ministered in one of the slums in our city and handed out clothes to the kids. This is much easier to plan than to actually do. We knew we would be bombared but that didn't stop us. We went with a plan of action to keep it civil, but that didn't work for long. Before long we had a crowd of about 50 mothers and children reaching into our car grabbing whatever they could reach. At times we saw children that looked to be 10 or so grab infant clothing and run off.  What broke my heart is that we had more than enough for everyone to get some, but in their rush to get something they didn't get the right one that would fit them.

Life is hard for them. They live just to get by everyday...so naturally when someone comes to give them something they feel like they have to push others aside and grab whatever they can. It's basically survival mode. Even the littlest ones have already learned this.

In the midst of all that chaos of children pushing and grabbing and our car being mobbed basically, I heard God say, "I have more than enough for all of them." And it was true, we had boxes and boxes ready to distribute, we even tried to yell it out and tell them so they could calm down..but they didn't believe us. I thought about God and how He wants them to know that He died so that there is enough for them...the curse of sickness and poverty is broken by his blood.

Driving home, a litte frazzled and shaken, I thought about how desperate they must be to go that crazy over one pair of clothes. When was the last time you were that desperate for clothes?? I thought about how much more the kids could have gotten had they listened to what we were telling them and followed our instructions...I thought about how God said He has more than enough...and I thought about me and about how I am sometimes afraid to trust Him even though He tells me that He is more than enough to carry me and to provide for me. I dont know how many time I tried to grab at something and make it happen, or reach for something that didn't fit me but I wanted it anyways...all the while God was saying, be patient..wait on me...I have something coming for you that is going be perfect.

God's supply is infinite...I dont know how many times we have felt like it is going to run out, not gonna be enough. As ministers, when we see someone else being blessed it easy to feel like the supply is diminishing if it goes somewhere else, or to someone else, but time and time again, He says, "I have more than enough for you."

Trying to tell them, "one at a time..."..(it didn't work)

 I pray that those kids in the slum will experience His love for them one day. I pray that they will see Christ in us and know that He is near to them even when we leave.

  

                              (This is where they live, under a bridge near the railroad station in makeshift tents.)

Praise God...Our Container has arrived!

We have some great news...Our shipping container was released to us this past week. We are super excited about this and want to thank all of you who have been praying for this. We spent the last three days unpacking and getting the upstairs part ( where we live) of the house settled. Opening these boxes has been like Christmas all over again. Unpacking has never been this much fun:)

Today we had a chance to dig in to the downstairs boxes for the first time. These are the boxes that are full of the donated items that many of you have given. It was so much fun seeing all the items that will soon belong to orphaned and needy children.

Six years ago we received a Word from the Lord through a prophecy that "We would be God's distribution center and that He would place supplies into our hands so that we could release it to others in need". Then, we had no idea what that would look like but today we are seeing that come to fulfillment.

I want to share a little something with you that you may not see as such a big deal, but to me it was very special. There is a lady that sells milk at a roadside stall just a few feet from our house. Today she asked us if we could help her daughter to get some jeans since they are very poor and cannot afford to buy her any. Well, we knew that alot of teen girl's jeans had come in the container so we were happy to say yes. She said that she would send her daughter tommorow to get them. Knowing that she was coming tommorow I wanted to find the box that had girl's clothing and get the jeans ready. After opening around 4 boxes and still not finding them I looked at the huge stack of boxes in front of me and whispered a prayer to God to please lead me to the exact box so that I dont have to go through all of them to find them. Well, can you believe that the very next box that I opened was exactly what I was looking for....it was the box with teen girl's jeans. At that very moment I was so aware of God's loving kindness and so humbled that He was looking out for every detail and heard every prayer...no matter how little or silly it sounded to me.

Here are a few pictures of the delivery and unpacking of the donated items...

Below: Our driveway was demolished by the road constrution crew so that they could expand the road and make a new drain...so this door is how we are getting across for now.

One of the rooms with all the boxes lined up.

Having fun with all the toys:)

Having a little too much fun now....

Raj in another room with more toys and other donated clothes..etc.

We Praise God for his provision and supply and we thank YOU for being a part of this...we know that these are going to bless to so many little lives.

My Recent Encounter

I recently finished reading a book that was recommended to me by an elderly woman who was standing behind me at a buffet line a few months ago. The book was “ Experiencing the Father’s Heart” by Jack Frost. She told me that this book had changed her life and that I HAD to read. She quoted it saying, “There’s nothing you can do to make God love you more, and there’s nothing you can do to make Him love you less.” That caught my attention so I went ahead and bought it on Amazon just before leaving America and started reading it after arriving in India. I now wish I had gotten her name and information so I can thank her for recommending it to me. Reading it has really opened by life and my spirit to just how much our Father God loves us, I mean He’s really really, head over heels, crazy in love with us!

I always knew that He loves us….From childhood I have sang it, throughout my teen years I had even had experiences where His love overtook me swept me away into His amazing presence for hours. But what I experienced the other night was unlike anything I had ever known. I don’t even know what to call it, a dream…a visitation….an encounter maybe, all I know is that in it His LOVE was so real and so tangible. I am going to try to explain it as best as I can in hopes that if you haven’t experienced his overwhelming love or you don’t fully understand how great that love is then I pray this will whet your appetite for a LOVE encounter.

In the early morning hours I begin having a dream where a missionary named Heidi Baker was praying over me. I don’t know her personally but have read a couple for her books and have attended a conference that she was ministering at in Dallas. She completely embodies Christ’s love to those around her. In my dream she was holding me close like a mother and whispering a message from God into my ear. She said, “The Father loves you soooo much, He created you as a vessel of His love, but for so long you have felt like you are not worthy. He loves you so much, that is why He brought such a loving husband into your life, to experience His love on a greater level, He loves you sooo much, so so much.” And as she just kept repeating that sentence to me I began to sob like a baby. She patted my back and calmed and hushed me just like you would a baby.” Then I looked up at her eyes and they had diamonds in them. They were beautiful and shining. As I looked at those dazzling diamond eyes I knew that she was a vessel, a jewel that was reflecting the Father love upon me.

She walked away and then I looked up and saw a blindingly bright golden light in the sky. My hands lifted up toward it in praise automatically like I couldn’t control them. At the bottom of the light I saw feet crossed and at the sides and I saw hands extended….it was Jesus. I couldn’t see His face because the light was too bright. I wanted so baldy to See. His. Face. As I kept staring up the light started to descend closer and closer to me. I couldn’t take it. I thought I would surely die if it came any closer. It was too much love! My entire body began to shake and felt so weak and powerless yet so full of Him.

Out of the center of the light came a huge dove. It was the Holy Spirit. It began to flap it’s wings so gracefully yet so powerfully. The dove and the light were one. It then flew down right into my body and I couldn’t keep myself up. It overpowered me and I fell trembling. Then I woke up.

When I woke up I felt cleansed, like you feel after having a good cry. I felt such love filling my room and a Holy presence over me. My physical body was trembling and my legs felt heavy. I laid there for another five minutes just waiting till I felt like I could lift my legs and get up. I had just had a love encounter with the God of the universe. It overwhelmed me in the most wonderful way and for days I literally couldn’t stop smiling. His love was so heavy, so thick, so full, so joyous,….it was everything.

I love…I love….I love His presence.

Walls...

(Wrote this a few weeks ago when we were renovating the rented house.)

As we paint these walls of this old musky building I think of all the walls that God is bringing down in my own life. A beautiful new coat of paint covers the dirt stains, hand marks, and water damage that makes this building what it is. I think of my own life and how many times I thought I had taken an emotional wall down only to later find out that I had just covered it up with a fresh new color.


It has been three weeks since we arrived in India and already I can see the hand of God working on my life. During this past year God has repeatedly told me what it will mean to fully follow him. Again and again he whispers to me, “It’s going to COST. YOU. EVERYTHING.” I ask Him to tell me more and what that will look like… and I believe that slowly He is already revealing that in part.

Walls are something that we are told we need. Walls keep us safe from the outside world, they protect us from the elements and from strangers getting OUR stuff and into OUR space. They are good in certain contexts….but they can also become a hiding place when there is no need to hide, a comfortable place to linger in.

Coming to India has revealed parts of my life where walls have existed even without my knowledge. Physical walls have a way of actually keeping others out when we don’t want them in, emotional walls are a little more trickier. When you come into a nation where people don’t understand ‘your boundaries’ and therefore don’t honor them you find out real quick how many walls you have actually built up in your life. The other day a waiter at the restaurant that we were in walked up to our table and picked up my son. My immediate thought was, “ that is MY child, I dont know you! How can you just pick him up like that???” After a few seconds of realizing that it was harmless and that he just wanted to play with him my mommy defenses went off and I smiled at the waiter and slowly stood up to get my son back. I know that as a mother that is a perfectly normal reaction, but inside I began to question myself as to ‘What else is OFF limits to others?” Do I get annoyed if someone is talking too long to my husband in a language that I can’t understand, or am I patiently waiting thinking maybe this man needs someone to encourage him or comfort him, or hasn’t had anyone listen to him in a long time. Do I feel emotionally tresspassed if someone asks me about how our 'marriage is' being from two different cultures ( people here feel free to ask any all questions including weight, age, economic status...etc.) or do I take it as an opportunity to tell them about how Christ's love overcomes all barriers including cultural ones.

The walls are coming down…

I have always been a person that valued my personal space and privacy. Since moving to and living as a white woman that concept is kind of out the window. I have generally liked to blend in the crowd…its safe there, but when you’re a little different you get stares…constantly. This wall of hiding out in the crowd…., it’s coming down! God is taking me to a place where I’m not afraid to shine…it can get real dark here in this nation (spiritually speaking) and God’s piercing light always overcomes the darkness. Walls keep that light hidden.

I come to realize that many times we allow certain people into our sacred walls. Our immediate family, our close friends, our pastors, maybe some members of our extended family…but what happens when someone that doesn’t fit into that description tries to come up and make themselves at home??? When I look at Jesus I find that he lets us all come in and sit with him and dine at a table that HE prepared. I didn’t bring anything to it yet He not only allows, but rejoices over me when I come and fellowship. It doesn’t matter if it is a poor disheveled beggar or a nicely dressed businessman…all are welcomed…all are invited in to that sacred place of his heart.

Thank you Lord for bringing me out of my comfort zone and into a place where things and people cause me to remove these barriers and walls. Love knows no boundaries…

We Got a House!

Since our arrival in India 9 days ago we have had the same routine....the same goal. Wake up, eat breakfast, call a taxi, and drive...drive..and drive. We were driving all day, everyday, all around the city looking for a house to rent only stopping to eat. It was intense...we were people on a mission. It didnt help that we had two small kids in the car who didn't quite understand why we had to drive around sooo much, not to mention-no carseats. I found myself constantly guarding doors and playing referee between two cranky kids.

After being refused a few houses that we liked, due to our faith (there are discrimination laws but they are never really enforced) we were beginning to wonder if we were ever going to find something. The problem we had in one house was that the owners wanted us to allow someone to come over and do idol worship everyday to bless the house.  We quickly moved on from that one.

Another owner agreed to rent his house to us but after meeting us asked if 'we were missionaries'. In all honesty we said 'yes'.  He changed his mind at that point. All the other houses were just portions of a house, like a floor, that were for rent. We knew that wouldn't work for us since most owners don't allow you to bring in orphans and poor kids, because there is such a stigma placed upon them.

In all honesty we were getting discouraged. God met us one morning right there in our discouragment. He showed us a verse from Hebrews 10:35, "Do not throw away your confindence, it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere...vs. 37- for in just a little while he who is coming will come and will not delay, and my righteous one will live by faith."    It brought so much peace to read that and to know that God is working on our behalf, even if we couldn't see it,  and He was going to work it out in his perfect time. And...He did.

Two days ago we were driving in the outskirts to go see a house. As we were leaving that house we decided to cut through a road to take the scenic route by the beach to get back to the hotel. It was on our way to get to that road that we finally spotted a big two story house that was for rent. As we were there we saw that more people, who were interested in the house, were stopping to inquire about the house as well. We quickly called the number listed on the board. We told the owner about what we want to use the house for, and not only was he ok with it, but it turned that the last renters were also running an orphanage in it. We jumped on it and signed the lease yesterday.

Inside the house-first floor

First floor living room

It is a spacious four bedroom house that is 14 years old but looks closer to 30. It is in need of some major painting and cleaning but overall it will work for us. It's in need of screens (there are alot of mosquitos esp in the evening since it has an open sewer in front) and the well and water tank need to be cleaned out thoroughly. I cant wait to get into it and make this house a home not only for us but for the many kids that God is going to bring into our lives.

Thank you to all of you who were praying for this. I know there were many prayers being lifted up on our behalf and we appreciate it immensley.

We are in India...

 This morning I woke up to the many sounds of India,..horns honking, shops opening, people going somewhere..life happening. We are in India...we are in the center of His will...what could be better than this?

After a year of packing, planning and preparing here we are. It is surreal and at times I feel like we are just here on a mission trip for just a few weeks and then we will be returning back, expect this time it's to stay. I think we won't fully comprehend that until we are out of this hotel and in a permanent house.

I love this nation. It's not because of anything else except because of God and His love for this nation. He has deposited a little bit of that love in me and continues to teach me more about his heart for this land. In saying that, it doesn't negate the fact that following Him here was soooo hard. Leaving my family this time was like having my heart torn in two and it still hurts to think about the ones I love. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, YET his perfect peace follows us and we KNOW we are right where we are supposed to be. He is worth EVERYTHING. There is nothing and no part of my life and my family that He cannot have.

For all our prayer partners...I want to ask you to pray that we can find a house to rent that is suitable and large enough for us and for the kids that we will be taking in to care for. This has been the biggest challenge yet. Please believe with us and pray for the perfect one to come into our view. We know that God already sees it and we are believing that as He guides us He will show us.

A Hidden Treasure...

We only have seven days left before we leave as missionaries to India. All this past week I have been going through the closets to sort out/throw away any last and loose items. Last night I went through the last few remaining items in the office closet and found  a stack of old pictures that I had forgotten about. They were pictures from my childhood, from my year in Mexico with the kids, and of my first few years living in India, many with friends and children. These pictures brought back so many memories and emotions. I was reminded by seeing them of just how blessed my life has been just because I said yes to God's plan. He has sent me to places that I never thought a little girl from a South Texas town with a population of just 5000 could ever go. He has brought such rich relationships out of these adventures and it has made my life and any sacrifices I may have made oh so worth it!

This morning as I was going through the front coat closet there was a Bible sitting on the top shelf that was given to us from a friend. This Bible is in Marathi, a northern Indian language. When we got this Bible we knew it was old, but until this morning we hadnt really taken an in depth look at it. It's printing date goes as far back as 1893. It had an inscription on the first page which said, " To the Rev. J.M. Goheen from the member of the Kolhapur Church as a humble token of our sincere love", dated- 1896.  When I first read this I didnt think much about it...it's a Bible that must have belonged to a pastor in India...I thought.  But as I continued flipping through the pages I saw notes on the side and an obituary in it of a  Bible Woman that must have been a member in the church. But something about it kept stirring in me to find out more about the owner...so I did. 

After much research online and several peoples searches I found out that the initials J.M. stood for Joseph Millikin Goheen. I found his biography on a geneology site and was so impressed by his life. He moved to India as a young missionary in 1878 and within that first year he had a child that was stillborn, and a few months later his wife passed away as well. Shorlty after that his 20 months old daughter also died from typhoid fever. He remarried a woman named Amanda who now, after getting to know about her life, has began to inspire me.

Here is an excerpt form what I found on her life....

"India needed' her. Her home was a model for Indian women to copy. She was a woman of compassion and love. When she saw the lamentable condition of young widows in India, she longed to gather them where they could be protected while earning their support, and also be taught, to be living stones in the temple of the Lord.  Together with gifts from friends at home she was able to build a small hostel, where childless widows and motherless orphans found love and cheer and food and clothing.

The little orphans ran with open arms to the gentle "Mother," who played games with them, sang with them, and took them, when naughty, into the " little room " to Help them to be good.

This friend of all was never too busy to receive calls from the ladies of the Maharaja's family, or to call upon them. Her presence was solicited in times .of joy or sorrow. When the son of the late Maharaja was dying, it was she who held the hand of the Queen Mother, and gave her sympathy in full measure to her.
 

As for Mr. Goheen, he had the charge of a large and needy village district. Those villagers as they came to him for advice, and for spiritual and material help, were all as children to Mother Goheen. She knew the name and age of each child and the needs of each mother. They were blessed, indeed, who shared the largeness of her love.

 

Mr. Goheen literally gave his life for India. Worn and jaded, in looks older than his own father, he returned to the States after the stress of the famine that lead sapped his strength, and he died in 1907. Mrs. Goheen lived in India another ten years and later returned to the States where she died and was laid to rest with her husband."

There is alot more in the biography that I found about this family. But I was inspried to hear about their 40 years of service as missionaries in India. I believe God has brought this Bible into our hands at this time as an encouragment to read about these pillars in the faith just before we leave. I feel like I am holding a little bit of history in my hands and a treasure of some of God's servants that have gone on before us...